10 Dayz...fulfilled

I'm grateful. I've lived another day to grow, experience and learn.
It's so funny repetitious life is.

This time last year I didn't have a "regular" job. The same things remain today.
This time last year, I felt unappreciated. The same things remain today.
This time last year I was BROKE, I MEAN BROKE...This year, I'm good.

I'm grateful. I can eat whatever I want. I can go wherever I want to go, I am free to be, to think and to live life without interruptions.

It wasn't always like this.

I was mad at my mother when I was 5. I thought I was supposed to win pin the tail on the donkey for my birthday party, just cause it was my birthday party.

I was mad when I was 16 cause my mother took all day to bring my birthday cake, my party was three hours in and she waltz in without a cake and asked what "all these people" were doing in her house...she forgot it was my birthday.

My dad was never able to see any of these moments. I felt cheated. No one ever explained death. No one ever lied to me and told me life was fair. I thought I was supposed to have a a mommy and a daddy like those story books and have a dog and gold fish and marry a girl and have kids and imitate my parents...but life just as the world rotates 360 degrees.

I've learned to break free of what I thought should be.
(that was a bold statement to me...let me say it again)
I BROKE FREE OF WHAT I THOUGHT SHOULD BE.

For the feelings of lies held me captive.
Brandon died on my birthday...someone who really loved me. I didn't let him cause his piss colored ass was a liar...how much would we compromise to be happy? LET IT GO I SAY...

Anyway...I'm rambling. But I figured it out: What you think and what you say controls your life, your actions and it can place limits on what and where you evolve into.